11 May, 2026

It has been a week since I last write, I've had so many ideas and all but I just haven't been in here here typing them down. I enjoy writing, I really do, but why procrastinate? I don't know, it's time consuming, it makes me dig into my old self that I would usually avoid? I've lost the momentum, the motivation that I had in the beginning, I've read so much about not relying on motivation, being disciplined is the key, set rules, make sure to write every night, that's the rule to give ourselves if we want to get better at writing, but the problem is that it's not strict enough for myself.

In my journals you would find many titles that start with bounce back, usually to gym or journaling or eating healthy. It's one of the most valuable thing that I learned back then and I struggle to do that now, maybe there's still a bit left in me that's why I'm back here typing again.

Returning to the gym after a trip, it's tougher because I can't lift as much as I could before the trip, it's embarrassing but who's watching? It's harder to bring yourself there, mind giving excuses like how I've already stopped for so long, muscles are going to sore, messed up sleep, this is why even during trip I would try my best to find gyms around, at some point I even considered creating a gym review site so others can find gym easily when they are on a trip.

Returning to journaling, I have stopped writing for days, this is the long time I have stopped journaling, my last post was over a year ago, and I've tried to go back a few times but it's just different, that's why I'm here, I'm treating this blog as my journal, that's why it's a little more personal sometimes, it's how I'm used to writing.

Eating healthy is the same, I've gained weight after awhile, and counting calories is just time consuming, I would crave for good food, I think it's easier because I got some great healthy under my sleeves, I can't say no to yogurt with frozen blueberries, little bit of maple syrup and a scoop of protein powder, that's all I need back then.

Meditation is another, I used to meditate 20 minutes in the morning, then another 20 before bed, now I only do 5 minutes, which I think I should slowly increase it to 10 minutes. 5 minutes because I want to have more sleep, I have been getting less sleep lately because of work and commute, oh, to live in those remote working days again.

I used the Streak app to keep track of these things, which I would just complete even though I didn't do it, it's just to keep the numbers up, I can't break the streak, it's too high to break it, so I got fake numbers, what's the point of it?

I've since learned that people focus too much about being consistent, about how long it can last, about doing all their best with discipline, with strict methods.

The key is returning, climbing back up when we fall.